I must sound like a crazy old man by now. It seems that all of my life, I have been chasing the conduit, but not the source of it. She was elder than me, if my calculations are right.. slightly younger than Aunt and older than Onnechan. Which places her at around the age of early 40's or late 30's. This was the very same character, that uses a conduit in other people's dreams and threatening them in her absence. There have been a consistency in this preposition that I'm claiming onto, where after gathering information that my friends are being approached by yet another conduit giving them warning about being with me. (that she never approach my friends directly, but only with the use of a conduit or middle-woman). Yes, I have known her from that attitude for a very long time now. Her love is real.
I usually taken traces of her personalities from the written words, as direct text of communication from her. I didn't know that fate met me with a communication Professor just about a year ago. Well he did taught me a few things about general semantics. In tracing this so called 'memory' or perhaps a 'ghost' or even 'stalker' or 'shadow walker' or 'guardian angel' or 'super magician', as I have now profiled her as my 'target'.
Even those with magical knowledge, feared of even mentioning her name, whereabouts and objectives. She probably kill them, even way before it will happen, am I not right? such a cunning character. Yet, there is a soft side of her which made it even worst.. and confusing. Why I said this was because, the impression that I have from her ways of communicating with me is that she wants me only for her own self. But there was a definite reason why she could not be here by my side, something about a physical defect that she probably have. I hate to say this but, probably she is in some medical bed somewhere in a big mansion and been in coma for over 30 years to be exact. Her out-of-body experience explored her 95% brainwaves, that only can be used during her sleep. Perhaps the years are even longer than I could imagined, so as her age. Soon she will wake up, and things will be cleared up possibly. I will be happy, for our reunion.. finally. Either that, or I might be delusional to think that she was contacting me from the heavens by her own strength(given possible by Allah, our creator), in the near future distant. Her powers will burn anyone's mind into ashes, if that comes to that.
In the surreal world, perhaps to a few people like myself as I like to call it 'reality'. The story started like a love story between two people that are separated by an invisible fabric wall (heavenly transparent fabric), that only I could see her world but could not enter it just yet. She was from the inside, trying her best to reach to me.. but could not get out. I did my prayers just in front of her.. I used my swords hitting the wall, as hard as I could. Nothing happen. Both of us have that advanced looking sort of clothing, but not of any similar to a full-fledged Ano Hito or Mei li de ren, just of yet. We can speak to each other, as I was looking directly at her brown eyes. "I needed your strength." I told her, as we are going to break down the heaven's barrier system, with just our imaginations. I know at that time, I could not do it all alone. So I told her, whom looked like a beautiful Apsara.. to stand up and just copy what I am doing (Kagami, Saigo no Kajitsu).
As we stood face to face, I hold onto the heavenly wall-like fabrics.. as it was said capable to even burn the Archangel's skins, imagine that a human being holding onto it. "There was no other choice." There she was, so near to me.. yet we are separated by this wall, only this thin and transparent wall. As I placed my hands onto it, instantly it activated my first-level state (Post Ano Hito, Himitsu), as bright lights shimmering at my hands. I believe she was imprisoned in the heavens, for the crimes contacting with a human being that she has loved for over many centuries. Even when the confinement was a heaven as large as she could run.. Allah is very much indeed, generous to her. What is she to Allah really?, as I seriously pondered at that single moment. Still, as the twin-heart system generates as much light as it could, as it creates darkness in the brightest of all Heavens floors. It was indeed an insane view. She was too, trying her on the inside. Perhaps I understood why she chosen me, because only I was able to bring down that wall. Allah have amusing ways to create a celestial love story. I'm actually still amazed now, on why it has to be that way. It seems that, in the end it is Allah whom lengthen and heighten one's darjat to an even higher and more perfected state. Only with His wishes alone, that we are allowed to meet with each other. As the eyes of multi-verse lights, starts to spin like a spiral and every imaginations expressed throughout the dark skies, sparkle the brightest of all light that ever been seen.. of colors that even my eyes has never seen before. The epicenter of my heart is almost bright as the sun, the energies containing in them.. just for the sake of one girl.(To finally change, Buddy) Finally, soon after a few moments the impossible happen. Our fingers slipped through the thin and transparent heavenly fabric walls, as we felt each others hands for the very first time. My expression told her, "One more push!" and in that instant, the whole heavenly walls crumbles!! from one end to another.. like a broken glass. "It was meant to be broken by a courageous heart." as I heard it almost everywhere at the same time when the wall was breaking. We hugged immediately, without any more delay. Then all of the sudden, all of the white space where I was on changed into the green as both worlds which was once separated now is combined. In that place, reality changes instantly. It seems too vast to begin with.. as far as I could look.
There were more events later, which describes more of how the higher system works at that particular time. For now, I am still in between a human being and an Apsara or perhaps both? as she only communicate with the use of a conduit, song writer or even random people to relay information to me.. last, she even used my own sister! Amazing.. just amazing.
Sitting under the Moonlight
11:37 a.m. on Monday, May 14, 2012
I could never taken this impression away from inside of my mind, of the two most important memories of my life. There was actually two Moons, to be exact in that particular dream. One was a full Moon, another was a Crescent Moon. If it was determined by maturity, the full Moon is someone far elder than both me and the Crescent Moon and at the same time, she loved both of us regardless if its a shared marriage between us. "In the very distance, she can feel whatever that I've felt.. the people I met, or fall in love.. yet she loved them too, lending a shoulder for me to cry on." I've like known her for a very-very long time throughout my life, as if she was always there by my side, inside of my dreams, or during when I was awake. A soft hearted person, her voice and hands are also soft. She understands everything that I say to her, as she warms my heart always. Even when age had taken her body, she still looks young to me, always. She was in love with me, even before I was born.. that is what I wanted to believe. She has wait, even more time than I did.. and even forgiven me for not having her as her first, and her wisdom is just to vast to begin with. The highest of all magicians, she was ranked as the first. She talks directly with my mind, without any barriers. Yet the natural orders, waiting for the right time and place for us to meet later in the future. Until that time comes, goodnight. Moonlight M.S.